One Day
by Ana Graves
Summary: Takes place during the party in 3x21. Caroline doesn't feel comfortable after Klaus' "desiccation". She takes an attempt to understand her own feelings.


The fruit of my Friday's grief after Klaus' "death". I just had to write something like this. Sorry for mistakes, I was writing it filled with emotions. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.

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'For a Klaus-free life!'

The toast was honest, cheerful and carefree. They were finally free. Free of the man who had killed Jenna. Free of the man who had been threatening almost half of Mystic Falls' citizens. Free of the man who had turned their lives into a hell. They were finally happy.

But one toast wasn't as honest, cheerful and carefree as the others. One heart wasn't experiencing such a big joy.

This heart was possessed by doubts and sorrow. This heart wasn't sure if it enjoyed what had happened.

This heart belonged to once the most cheerful and carefree human being, Caroline Forbes. But those times were a history. Present Caroline Forbes was torn apart.

One part of her was happy with her friends, lifting the glass and repeating toasts.

'For a Klaus-free life.'

This part perfectly knew the difference between right and wrong. For it the world was just black and white: goodies should be rewarded, baddies should be punished.

The other part of her wasn't sure about anything. It didn't knew if they had done the right thing. It even wasn't perfectly aware of its own feelings.

She herself had organized this party in order to kill those inconceivable emotions. But it wasn't a good-planned murder. The party didn't accomplish its mission. Feelings were still there, crying for her attention. She couldn't resist them.

At the beginning, there was doubt. She tried to focus on this one emotion, because the others weren't so reasonable. Had Salvatore brothers done what they had had to do? Maybe they should have just saved Elena and tried to cooperate with _him _again, in order to kill Dark Alaric. _He _could have helped if _he_ had just wanted to. If _he_ had had a reason.

After doubt came sorrow. She has always believed that there was good in every living or undead being, a human or a vampire. _He _wasn't an exception, even though everybody would have considered her faith stupid and naive. But it was her, from all vampires, who saw _his _better side. Her conviction that someone - maybe even she herself - could have changed _him_, hadn't been decreasing with time. On the contrary, it had been growing stronger with every conversation they had had. She had really believed _he _could have been saved. And suddenly _he _was gone. She would never find out if her faith was void. She felt grief that she won't have a chance to change _him. _Or to even try.

There was also guilt. Remorse concerning the fact that she couldn't have saved _him. _That she had done nothing to save _him. _She knew she couldn't have done anything. But she felt guilty nonetheless.

Finally, there came the other feeling, emotion she wasn't able to name. It was a mix of longing for something she couldn't describe and sadness that she will never see _him _again.

She didn't want to feel it, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to hear _his_ voice telling about her most hidden dreams, to see that weird admiration in _his_ eyes, to be able to thank _him_ once more.

She has never felt like that before. She knew it was wrong. She knew she loved Tyler and that Lockwood loved her. She knew _he _had wanted to kill Elena. She knew she finally could be happy without _him_. But she felt those feelings anyway.

Her eyes didn't want to get rid of _his _image. She saw _his_ blue irises filled with a desire to save her and showed her the world. Maybe _he _had wanted to save and change her to the same extent as she had wanted to save and change _him_. She'll never know.

Her ears didn't want to get rid of _his _words.

_There's a whole world out there waiting for you. Great cities, and art, and music. Genuine beauty. And you could have all of it. _

In that very moment she had hated _him_ and couldn't understand _his_ deeds. _He_ had ordered Tyler to bit her only to save her life few hours later. Why had _he_ done it? She still didn't know the answer. Maybe _he_ had wanted to connect with her in _his _own, freaky way? She'll never know.

_I fancy you. Is that so hard to believe? You're beautiful, you're strong, you're full of light. I enjoy you. _

Yes, it had been hard to believe. It had been the first moment she had come to understand _he_ had admired her. She had never been so surprised before. She had also realised _he _may have been the loneliest creature in the entire world. It could be the first second she had thought about helping _him_. Rescuing _him_ from _his_ own abyss.

_I wanna talk about you. Your hopes, your dreams; everything you want in life. _

_He_ had really wanted to hear it. _He _had really been interested in her life and desires. She had seen vivid curiosity in _his _eyes. She had been surprised again, but for the first time it was also because of her own feelings. She had wanted to tell _him_ everything. And it had been strange. Really strange. Inexplicable.

_I'm leaving town tomorrow. I'd invite you to come with me, but we both know you're not ready to accept my offer. _

_He_ had cared about her feelings. _He_ wouldn't have done anything against her, which was really untypical for _him_. _He_ had been always doing everything _he_ wanted without asking. She had been _his_ exception.

_You mark my words. A small town boy, a small town life, it won't be enough for you. _

The same situation, the same dance. She had marked _his_ words. She knew _he_ had been right about Mystic Falls. The time will come when she would want to escape from this city and see the world. A small-town life couldn't be a long-term choice. But Tyler... She was sure her love won't just go away. Lockwood was a man for her. She was perfectly sure about it. Perfectly meant 'for 90%'. Because 10% told her something else. It told her Tyler would be an obstacle in the road to a different life in the future. She quietened that thought. She loved Tyler. What she felt for _him_... was a different matter.

_It's me, it's okay. You're safe. We'll save Elena, you go straight home, you stay inside. You understand? _

_He_ had told her 'it's me' like _he_ had recognised _his_ arms as the safest place for her. He heart ached. She had really felt safe then. Like never before.

But the worst thing was that her heart didn't want to get rid of _him_. It ached because of guilt, sorrow and sadness. And because of _his_ fate.

'Is everything all right?' Tyler asked her in a worried tone.

'Yeah, sure,' she assured her boyfriend vigorously.

'For a new life?' Lockwood lifted his glass.

'For a new life,' she nodded, touching her glass with Tyler's one.

Suddenly she understood that her eyes, her ears and her heart will never get rid of _him_. She will never get rid of _him. _She will always have _him _in her heart. She won't be able to remove feelings concerning _him_, even for Tyler's sake.

She realised she would like to feel so safe as she had been in his arms again, one day. She will desire to taste something different. She will wish to experience jeopardy of being around _him_.

She had a task for that day. She will have to find out the exact location of the coffin containing _his _body.

She knew that she will use that information one day. When _his _return won't mean the quick death for her friends.

One day she will bring him back to life.

One day. For now, she will just be happy with Tyler. Or, to be more specific, try to be happy.

For now.


End file.
